Montréal's largest daily newspaper, the Journal de Montreal conducted a study in the summer of 2007 summarized as follows:
"Sticking to websites frequented by kids, and never initiating conversations about sex, it wasn't long before grown men were online quizzing them in explicit tones. Some of the men requested nude photos while others asked the 'children' to strip in front of their webcams. And then there were those who wanted more -- asking to, when parents were out, meet for sex. The French daily's sting included a rented apartment in Montreal, where men showed up, expecting to meet underage girls. Instead, they faced journalists."
A 2006 survey conducted by NBC:
"... questioned 500 teenagers across the country, ages 14 to 18, about their computer habits. When asked if they chat online to people they’ve never met before, an overwhelming majority said “yes,” whether it’s “all the time,” “sometimes,” or “not very often.” When asked if someone they’ve met online has wanted to meet them in person, 58 percent said “yes.” And 29 percent said they’ve had a “scary” experience online."
A 2005 study on teens online by the Polly Klass Foundation at pollyklaas.org/internet-safety/internet-pdfs/PollingSummary.pdf produced findings even more scary:
- 54% of teens freely communicate with people they have never met and 27% say they've talked in a sexual manner to such a stranger;
- 42% says they've posted personal information for anyone to see - 56% of girls and 37% of boys; and
- 56% of online teens surveyed say they've been asked personal questions by a stranger online.
Even well known Internet social sites are far from safe.
To dramatically make the point of exposure to themselves children create when posting online, the United States Department of Justice produced this ad. Please be advised that once the video is completed, the server "Metacafe" has added a final image designed to attract the viewer to watch more videos on the site. Ignore that.
What to do?
♦ Children are completely vulnerable in the care of their parents.
A strong bond of trust between parent and child is essential to any effective Internet safety strategy.
The child who is lied to will learn to lie depriving a parent of often the best window a parent has into their child's private life.
This is especially true as the child gets older as parents will have to walk a fine line between wishing to give an older child more privacy the child yearns for, and the parent's need to ensure that his/her child is safe.
At the end of the day, what you are trying to achieve is for the child to come to you or another trusting adult, such as a teacher, and disclose any untoward or suspicious approach from the Internet.
Disclosure sometimes comes in the form of a single opportunity to prevent or stop child sexual abuse and it is an opportunity that no parent or adult can afford to miss or misinterpret.
♦ Do not just dump your child in front of a computer with a spanking new Internet connection. If, as a parent, you have no knowledge of the Internet, simply do not let your younger child use it.
As a parent, you have a responsibility to make yourself aware of the "highway" that the Internet is so that your child does not "run out in traffic" without knowing the rules of the road. Here's a simple test: if you do not know what the words "chat room" means, then you are not qualified to supervise and your child is at risk.
♦ Children start off with the best of intentions as they sign up for a variety of social websites or messaging systems or services. They use aliases but they frequently tease-in real facts about themselves. Or they will be forthcoming about themselves in a chat room which is attended by a "friend of a friend of a friend", all also protected by aliases, which predators use as part of their deception.
♦ Be especially careful with web cams. This technology fascinates children but it is also something that attracts predators. Effective parental supervision requires knowledge of chat or messaging software. Parents should create an account for themselves and play with including, activating a web cam. Learn the controls available within messaging software and negotiate this with your child. Better yet, don't let them web cam!
♦ Most children are trusting and do not suspect or even anticipate the level or extent of evil necessary to attempt to lure them sexually. Even if this is explained to them, the child's inclination may be to minimize or reject the parental information, declaring you to be "paranoid". Be alive to, even embrace this "educational challenge" and stay with it.
♦ Supervise, monitor and watch your child as they commence their forays onto the Internet. The supervision should start at 100% with a younger child and work its way down to close to zero as the child approaches an age where they leave the home.
♦ Except with a mature, older child, on the cusp of adulthood, do not allow the child to access the Internet in an unsupervised area such as the child's bedroom.
♦ Make yourself aware of computer access otherwise available to your child such as unsupervised access at school or access at a friend's house where the parents are prepared to "pooh-pooh" the dangers of the Internet.
♦ Tell the child about the existence of pornography and predators on the Internet. You do not have to use words which will traumatize the child but at the same time, be direct about this. The sad reality is that the Internet is laden with persons afflicted with sexual deviances, including pedophiles, as well as pornography dungeons. You want your child to have their own sixth sense about trouble and danger when it shows up on some chat room when you are not around to supervise.
♦ One of the foremost indicators of a child's exposure to danger is the amount of time they spend on the Internet generally, and chat sites in particular.
♦ Keep an eye out for children who go out of their way to hide their Internet activity, such as quickly swapping browser windows when a parent enters the room. Some kids are not so adept and will simply power off the monitor when the parent is around. Many teens actually have code words to alert chat rooms of parental presence. This is a a sign of child judgment issues.
♦ The most important advice of all is to be alive to difficulties of children who live in poverty, with adversarial separated parents, with working parents that rarely spend enough time with them, or with parents who are themselves abusive towards their children. These are the primary fishing waters for predators because these children are not supported by an interested and available parent while at the same time, these children have not had their emotional needs met. Predators are often practiced and a vulnerable child is frequently no match.
References and Further Reading